KK is back in the blogosphere after a long hiatus!
And yes, there are reasons for this. A few days ago I gave a workshop on Voice in Fiction. And it belatedly occurred to me that it doesn’t help to have a fab fictional voice if, um, nobody can hear it. See how that works?
Well, it took me longer than it took you. Sometimes I’m not so quick.
I started asking myself why I was no longer blogging and came up with a myriad of lame excuses–I won’t bore you with them. I said to myself, “Self, thou shalt blog. Today, in fact. Carpe Bloggem!”
But myself said back, “You don’t have a blog set up any longer, you moron.”
So, not being technologically swift (which is a whole other topic) I called my long-suffering PR lady–and she actually picked up the phone! (Probably only to ask me to pay her, but that’s a whole other topic, too.)
“Hi!” I said. “It’s me!”
“Oh, God,” she replied. Clearly, she holds me in *very* high esteem.
Before she could ask me for money, I babbled, “You know how that button on my website labeled “expressionism” indicates that I occasionally express myself? Well, I haven’t been doing that lately except for on FaceBook. So can we make that link actually connect to a blog and make the blog connect to FB and Twitter and MySpace and something called RSS and maybe Amazon and–”
“Oh, God,” she said again. “I thought you were someone else.”
“I understand that so well. See, as a lunatic author writing about imaginary people, I often think I’m someone else, too.”
“But it’s you,” she moaned.
“Okay.” She took a deep breath. “Is your web site written in ____? (Here, insert a computer language I don’t speak.)
“You don’t know much, do you?” To her credit, she did not actually say this aloud.
“But I know lots about fictional voice! And I want to express mine, TODAY, so can we just hook all this up? I’m sure it’ll only take a second. Not even. A nanosecond. A fraction of a millisecond.”
The sound that came from her end of the line can only be described as a howl. But I’m sure it had nothing to do with me. I’m sure she was just having a bad day.
“Karen,” she suggested, “why don’t you go to WordPress.com and set up an account.”
“All by myself? This is possible?”
“Only for the last decade or so.”
What can I say? Everyone has to learn at their own pace. Even backwards, technology-phobic writers.
So here I am, at WordPress, stumbling around. WP, be very afraid.
But I am so proud to be expressing my writing voice! Even if it has indiscreetly revealed my stupidity. It’ll be our secret, right? I know I can trust you.
Just like PR Lady can trust me to pay her invoice, in which for me—and only for me—she bills by the nanosecond.
*With apologies to PR Ladies everywhere, who never treat their clients like this! LOL
**KK has actually had a blog at WordPress before. But she’s been known to exaggerate; stretch the truth into verbal taffy for her own nefarious, evil and dramatic purposes. Please don’t hold it against me. Uh, her.